So I had my remaining three wisdom teeth taken out a couple of weeks ago and it’s been a pain, to say the least. I have had my fill of soft foods and, though I’m still having difficulty with my jaw, I’m excited to get back into the kitchen and bake texture-full foods. Thing is, I started my *second* zine recently but it’s all about chocolate and, well, chocolate isn’t that crunchy or healthy… I’m having fun with it though and I have a bunch of recipes to share with you as I try out some new stuff. Before that though, I just wanted to mention my first zine (which is text and image complete, just needs to be scanned and printed); It’s all about dumpster diving and eating cheap but well. I am excited about printing it out! You’ll see it on here soon.
Alright. On to the chocolate!
I have tried making healthy chocolate souffles several times and it just ain’t workin’! So I give up… At least I have the 5-minute chocolate microwave cake which is very similar to souffles and easier to make. That and all of these fantastic new recipes I got!
I got inspired by someone’s non-healthy homemade Twix bars online and decided to have my own go at it; a healthy, vegan, no-bake version full of tastiness. The 6 bars were fun to make and the end result surprisingly good! They don’t taste anything like Twix bars but that wasn’t ever my plan to begin with. Without further ado, here’s the recipe for these Almond Twixy Bars:
Crispy Bar Ingredients: 3/4 cup rice krispies, 2 ½ tbsp almond butter, 2 tbsp almond flour, 1 tbsp brown sugar, 1 tsp coconut oil, 1 tsp maple syrup, 2 drops of vanilla extract
Caramel Ingredients: 1/2 cup dates, not packed, 1 tbsp almond butter, ½ tbsp cocoa powder, 1 pinch salt
Chocolate Coating Ingredients: 3/4 cup dark chocolate chips, 1/4 tsp coconut oil
The directions may seem long but it’s really not that complicated.
Directions: For the crispy bar, pour rice krispies into a food processor and pulse until the crisps get broken up (but not turned to dust). Add the rest of the ingredients and pulse until all ingredients are well mixed in. The mixture will be a bit crumbly but it’ll hold itself well enough for you to mold it into 6 long mounds (think of the Twix bar).
For the caramel, stick all the ingredients in the food processor and process until well mixed, then split the date dough into 6 balls and roll out into 6 strands. Push 1 on to each crispy bar, then place the cookies in the fridge.
Melt the chocolate and coconut oil in a double boiler until smooth. Spread a thin sheet of chocolate on parchment paper on a cookie sheet about 1 foot in length and a little wider than the length of your bars. Let it chill in the freezer for a couple of minutes, then carefully place the cookie/date mixture bars on to the chocolate sheet with about half a centimeter spacing between each. Spread the rest of your chocolate on each bar, being careful not to put it on too thick and to not pick up any cookie crumbles. Place the cookie sheet back in the freezer for half an hour or so, then chop the bars apart carefully, rounding off the edges for a neater look. Can be kept in the freezer or fridge. Stays crispy for a couple of days.
And then there was chocolate frosting. Holy thick chocolate frosting. I could probably kill someone with this stuff it’s so thick. You gotta be a coconut fan to enjoy it, but even me who’s not crazy for coconut went crazy for this stuff. I crave it all the time. It’s fatty and delicious and… Just make it now!
Chcolate Coconut Mousse / Frosting
Ingredients: 1 14oz can full-fat coconut milk, 1/3 cup cocoa powder, 3 tbsp maple syrup, ½ tsp vanilla extract
Directions: Put the can of coconut milk in the fridge overnight. Open it with care, without shaking the can. Scoop out the thick coconut milk (You don’t want the coconut water or the milk that’s very liquid. I end up with about ¼ cup of water and liquid coconut milk that I don’t end up using. If it’s not thick it might be a dud can and it won’t work) and put into a mixing bowl. Add the cocoa powder, maple syrup and vanilla extract and stir until well mixed (add a bit more maple syrup if you like it sweeter, but the more liquid gets added, the less thick it will be). Eat as is or use as frosting on cakes and muffins; It’s great for piping on desserts. Putting it back in the fridge for a while will thicken it even more.
I’d been meaning to create chocolate coconut balls and decided to hit the challenge when I came across the existence of coconut cream. It’s basically like coconut butter but a lot cheaper and often found in the cold section of Asian and African grocery stores. Unlike coconut oil, it has a strong coconut flavor and a nice creamy texture when melted and I find it makes a great ingredient in coconut balls. Try it! I bought a box of it for just 1$. This recipe here I call Muddy Snowballs and it makes 12 balls – They are darker than pictured in the photo above. They are very dark and very rich. Here’s the recipe, doubled from what I originally made:
Ingredients: ¼ cup cocoa powder, ¼ cup melted coconut cream, 1/3 cup raisins, 1/3 cup dates, 2 tbsp almond flour
Garnish: 3 tbsp shredded coconut
Directions: Mix all the ingredients together by hand or in a food processor. Separate the dough into 12 pieces and shape into balls. Roll in shredded coconut. Do not store these in the fridge; they harden well on their own.
I suddenly got inspired out of the blue to make these and they are AMAZING! Slightly salty, thin, crispy bars than melt in your mouth like fudge. Yum! Still, I’m thinking about doubling the recipe and getting a concrete quantity of salt written up, and maybe a thicker fudge bar at the bottom to see what that would do…
~Salty Fudge Crisp Squares~ (vegan, gluten-free)
Fudge Ingredients: 2 tbsp dark chocolate chips, ½ tbsp coconut oil, 1 tbsp crunchy peanut butter, 1/2 tbsp maple syrup, 2 tbsp cocoa powder, 1 big pinch of salt
Chocolate Ingredients: 3 tbsp dark chocolate chips, 1 tsp coconut oil, ¼ cup rice krispies
Directions: Melt the chocolate chips with the coconut oil in a double boiler, then stir in the peanut butter and maple syrup. Add the cocoa powder and salt until well combined (feel free to use your hands at this point) and form into a thin bar (about half a cm) by either pressing down into shape or using a rolling pin with the fudge bar between pieces of parchment paper or a plastic bag.
Melt the 3 tbsp dark chocolate chips with the 1 tsp coconut oil until melted and, using a spatula, spread a thin layer of chocolate on the fudge bar. Sprinkle the rice krispies on top and drizzle the remaining melted chocolate ontop. Place the bar into the fridge and, once chilled, chop into desired pieces. Keep chilled.
It was inevitable that anyone who came into the kitchen while I was in my chocolate frenzy would get inflicted by my chocolate-coated hands. Thing is, Siggi looks Mighty dandy here with his chocolate ‘stache! I’m kinda diggin’ it.